"I just think that Mindy is no longer on the planet"- My mom, two days ago.

"Ohana" means family in Hawaiian, but like so many Hawaiian words, its meaning is a bit...broader. Ohana refers not just to people you share a significant percentage of your genome with, but the entire extended group of people who make you who you are. It's a word that I think is even more significant in this day and age of fracturing families and nomadic living. After my parents got divorced, the ohana that I was part of became more important than ever, as I found it harder and harder to communicate with parents I felt had betrayed me. Jan was one of many women my mother was friends with who became very important to me in my adolescence. She had known me since I was a child, and there were few women I knew at the time that were more different than my mother. Jan had a daughter, Mindy.

Mindy had a few learning disabilities, but never lacked for love or support. Somehow, that wasn't enough. By 14, she was doing the usual bad girl thing-sex, drugs and more drugs. Three years ago, on her 18th birthday, Mindy disappeared. No one has heard from her since. My mother believes that she got involved with the wrong people and is long dead. Jan, for obvious reasons, believes she is still alive. I don't know what I believe, except that if I had given back what I was given, been more present in Mindy's life, these questions may not be an issue. If Mindy had had someone who was not a parent to talk to, she may not have run off.

Ever have one of those days where everything seems off? Nothing (even those things that you do all the time) is easy, walking feels like a hike?

Yeah, I had one of those today. Everything became a chore, which sucks because for the first time in some time, I like my job. I like all of the people I work with, and I even like working with them (for the most part.) But today just felt like walking through a bog, with mosquitoes nipping at me every step of the way.

And when I get home, I see that Congress is looking like it'll pass a national ID card law.

God, I'm glad I've got tomorrow off.

Holiday in Cambodia

I've been around some significantly damaged people recently, people that seem to lack basic survival skills and a large number of rather self-centered complaints. I've started to think that neuroses are basically bullshit. I've heard several arguments to the effect that our culture breeds low-grade psychological problems, and I believe it. I think the main problem with the people that I've been around is that they've never been forced to take care of themselves. No matter how badly they fuck up, their parents will take care of things. And what they need is to have that taken away. To be forced to survive on their own, to fail and feel the consequences of that failure. In short they need, as the Dead Kennedys put it, a holiday in Cambodia.

Oops. Guess the "High ranking Al-Qaeda official" the Pakistanis captured wasn't that high up after all.

Now on indymedia, some information about my home state. Seems that several native Hawaiian groups have occupied a University of Hawaii building to protest the school's research programs for the Navy. Looks like the protest culture is swinging into full gear again.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

So, a new picture for the changes I made to my layout and everything. Plus Gavagirl has one up, I figure I might as well have one too.

The roommate's ex girlfriend has been in for over a week. It's been the most stressful period of time I can remember where my life and/or well being were not in immediate danger. Both of them have attempted suicide in the past nine days, and the emotional and psychological tension has made me miserable. And last Thursday, the neighbors called the cops to our house because of an argument they were having. I can't tell you how much I never want the cops to come to my residence.

So it's been a while.

Saw on the BBC that the Pakistanis caught an Al-Qaeda chief. Funny that they caught him with a military and counterterrorism budget only a fraction of ours.