I saw Mathias yesterday. It's been several months, and before that it was at least a year. He's really degenerated over the years. When I first met him, he was a smart, funny kid with something of a mean streak and hubris befitting a Shakespearean tragedy.

While it didn't happen in a single day, it did happen, or rather is still happening. I remember the day I found out he had been kicked out of his favorite hangout, because someone commented on his needle tracks and said that using heroin was stupid. Mathias responded by attempting to punch the guy who made the comment, a former bouncer. He had started using H several months before, and had lost several friends when he shot up his best friend's girlfriend and then slept with her.

He moved to Oklahoma a while after that, and I hoped that I would never have to see him again. He got busted on possesion with intent to distribute (heroin again,) and was released on bond.

He immediately ran back to town, despite owing countless people money. He tried to get a friend fired from his job, and several days later asked the same friend if he knew anyone who would pay for sex. When I saw him yesterday, he looked scabby and worn, like any other homeless kid who's been chasing the dragon for a while. He was also puking in the gutter, junk sick and lost. Part of me wants to try to help, and another part of me reminds me of all the pain and anguish Mathias has visited on those who let him get too close. Still another part of me says that he deserves whatever he gets, and the sooner he pisses the wrong people off, the better for the rest of us.