Hellspawn: first offense
First off: if any of the three readers (two? one?) of this thing are parents, please take time to consider the following. I am sick and tired of having people come into my restaurant with their howling spawn and halfheartedly trying to control them while the brats fling shit across the room and generally make everyone elses' lives a living hell. Here's the bottom line right out front: if you think your kids are too young to be out in public, they are. If they start crying at any point during the meal, you have a responsibility to your fellow diners to take them outside and deal with them outside. For people too stupid to follow these instructions, I'll break it down even further: no restaurant should have to stock booster seats, high chairs, or those ridiculous cradle holders for your sake. If you can't afford a baby sitter, you can't afford to eat out. It's bad enough that you feel you shouldn't have to sacrifice for your progeny, you should never feel you have the right to make other people do so. The worst part is that you stupid, selfish parents never seem to realize that your waiter's consideration in not committing infanticide, much less providing good service, is worth at least doubling the tip you would normally leave.