Daddy

My son was born December 6, 2006. I was out of town and got the call from a friend of mine, the news gave me a knot in my stomach and a shiver in my spine. Given the relationship I had with his mother I faced my new role with a bit of concern, if not outright fear. Together for about eight months, broken up, not able to talk without arguing...this was not the life I thought my first child would be born into.

Got back into town December 12. Saw my son for the first time on the 13th. Life changed again. The Hurricane's mother had come into town to help with getting things settled. I walked into the apartment concerned about what I would face, and all my fear melted when I saw him. There's something astounding about seeing your child for the first time, as any parent can tell you. For me it was the sudden realization that everything before now was practice and preparation for the rest of my life, now that another being relied on myself and one other person for all his needs. I held him and felt a new understanding of what my parents see and feel when they are around my sister or me.

We both, (the Hurricane and I) felt the same thing that day in regards to each other: the tension dissipated and the resentment flowed through the floor, seeing each other in a new light. We've talked about this several times since that day, as we rediscover the good things about each other that we had been blinded to. I suddenly find my mind throwing the once-inconceivable image of a peaceful co-parenting situation at me on a regular basis and doing a good job of convincing me that it will work. Certainly there are obstacles ahead, but there would be anyway. I just feel confident now that I'll be tackling them with someone helping me over rather than pushing me into them.